DOVER BEACH... Extension

Keeping her head down, eyes running along the sidewalk, vision moving faster than her own feet Mrs.Phelps shuffled home. Foreign tears curled around her face, they were children. She the motherland, them the citizens unable to build civilization. Crying was a strange thing. Only occurring in the privacy of one's own home. And even then you can distract yourself. Don't think, don't think don't think. The family,the shells , the pills, the family, the shells, the...Mrs. Phelps's mantra. Crying originated from the eyes, invaded the throat. It swelled and muffled, sometimes escaping in desperate bursts of hiccups and gasps.  It was late. Every blink was like a light switch, homes becoming dark, silent. The sidewalk seemed to glow in the dark. Mrs. Phelps paid unusually close attention to the sidewalk. Eyes tracing the cracks. She found herself moving along the path of the small fractures.
"I wonder how those got there," Mrs. Phelps thought. She shook herself.
"I doesn't matter. Cracks in the sidewalk. Doesn't matter. Has no value to me. A waste of time. Being happy, that's not a waste of time. What silly thoughts. Must be those books. Making me think unnecessary thoughts. Moon looks pretty. Against the sidewalk. Almost moon-blanched, the sidewalk. NO. Stop thinking, stop thinking. Stop thing about thinking. Stop thinking about stop thinking about thinking." Mrs. Phelps's internal struggle. Her feet moved faster into the night, up her steps, hands moving swiftly along the fingerprints scanner. She waved once,twice, so frantic to get in the house. Feeling as if her thoughts were outside and they wouldn't follow her in her safe book free home. She eventually got in. But her own mind followed her in. Overwhelmed with racing thoughts she tried leaned against her walls trying to support herself. While simultaneously trying to escape her self. The family, an escape, the family. She half sprinted to the family. Must distract herself. Colors crawled up the walls creating a new world. Something Mrs. Phelps could be a part of without being mentally a part of. Her family looked happy. They were happy. Unlike that family in Montag's blasphemous poem. They weren't happy. They were loved, newly wed and yet unhappy. She and Pete were happy. Right? His face replaced the family. No matter how much she tried to engage herself in her family's life, trying to forget her own,Pete is all she saw. Sweeping over her like waves of sadness. Her throat began to swell again.Darkness. The Family disappeared with Pete's face. She Retreated to her bedroom, crashing into the bathroom, trying to forget sadness the only way she can. She shuffled the smooth white tablets in her palms. They quickly disappeared. A gulp and 2 more disappeared. They weren't working fast enough. Mrs. Phelps soon lost track. She ran out. The suffocating crying made it hard to breathe.Trying to regain her breath, she leaned in to the sink, back hunched over, hyperventilating. Refusing to look at herself in the mirror. Mrs. Phelps wanted for the pills to take her away, drift her off. But not fast enough.
Draws were pulled out in a desperate attempt to find the shells. she plugged her ears an fell into bed. She needed to escape sadness, which she is. She needed to leave herself. Mrs. Phelps fell into her bed and closed her eyes. She tried to morph the waves of depression into tides of sleepiness. Shells,waves and sand being swept away. She wanted to be swept away. But thoughts move in paths. Shells to beach to ocean to wave to Dover's Beach to sadness. Family to real family to Pete to love to Dover's beach to sadness. She rolled over in the covers sleep not coming to her. Her mind rebelliously wondered. Using hands to press the plugs deeper, Mrs. Phelps broke. She screamed.
"Get out of my head!" A tsunami of white smooth pebbles broke off the cliffs and crashed and drowned her finally. Productively and swiftly. She got what she wanted. She slept, she slept, she slept. She never had to think again.
(sorry for it being so dark)

SALVAGE the BONES....(continued)....(again).....

I hate taking forever on a book. I feel like every week I'm writing about the same thing. I know my blog post are sometimes painful to read because they're sometimes really long so I'll try to keep this one short. Once again I'm reading Salvage The Bones. I only have about thirty pages left and Hurricane Katrina finally hit. I'm really trying to hurry up and finish because the book is already two days late from the library and I hate fines. I was hoping that most of the book would consist of the hurricane and the family trying to survive in harsh conditions (no matter how terrible that sounds) but It was an okay book. I kind of wish it was a longer book because I want to see what happens to Esch and her baby. One of the only new things that happened was that Manny found out Esch was pregnant and she, after attacking him, confessed her love for him. But Manny being the jerk-face he is, clear;y let his opinions known and I honestly hope I don't have to encounter him ever again in the remainder of the story. I do blame Esch greatly for the situation because I wish she would have some self respect. I know her mother died so she doesn't have a role model but still, pull it together.

As of now, the father is still bed-ridden from his recent injury resulting in the removal of three fingers. Being an alcoholic, Esch's father often consumes his pain meds with beer causing him to grow more ill. Because of their father's handicap, the children are forced to prepare for the hurricane themselves. Like boarding up the windows, making sure they have food, water, etc. In the exact part where I'm reading, Esch and her brothers are huddled in the dark house as the hurricane smashes around them outside. Where I stopped yesterday, a tree has fell into their roof creating a house in their sickly father's bedroom. All in all a pretty miserable situation.